Girl Talk: Boob Investment

After the provocative and stimulating discussion of the male’s eikel [and being inspired by this post], it’s just fair to switch the limelight to something female this time. To keep this blog wholesome, we won’t be discussing the lower region part, just the upper regions. *wink*

Well let’s see... there are girls who are naturally blessed with huge properties up front. My sincere hallelujahs to them! Some though are just like me, who have enough to live through, day by day. But let’s not forget that there are also the less gifted women with small frontal assets.

No, this tiger push-up beha [the strange Dutch word for bra], pronounced as bay-haa, isn’t mine... but I’d like to buy one like this for myself. Very sexy eh ;-)

So, okay... who is then to be blamed for the diversity in women’s breast sizes? Is it god? Is it genetics? Or is it how our parents positioned themselves when they had sex? I’m not kidding, some people really believed in this, arguing that its a proven methodology for conception.

But anywho, thanks to our millennium generation, we now have the technology to augment our less desirable body parts!

DISCLAIMER: I do not advocate to those ridiculous cosmetic surgeries. This blog isn’t sponsored by Hollywood California and I am in no way related to Michael Jackson.

Cosmetic surgery, such as silicone breasts enhancement, is not only expensive, life threatening and superfluous, it is personally, revolting. Come to think of it, you’ve been sliced open, your insides discriminately scrutinized, stitched up and some sort of slimy alien substance resembling like gelatin flan desserts are left buried between your breast tissues. I mean eww, I cringe at that gruesome thought.

So girls, there is nothing to worry. In this discussion, we will stick to the artificial method of breast augmentation.

I believe that for every contemporary woman, having push-up bras in our closets are a must. They are simply great for support, but they are also good for that icky time of the month when we feel delicate and sensitive. Yes, they hold up and protect. Most important of all, they give form, cleavage and confidence. Do you agree girls? *grins profusely*

Let’s say, you have cup A, with a push-up bra you can easily move forward to the next cup level which is B. And if you are already a cup B, then hey, hey, welcome to the world of cup C.

Cleavage power: The 1st foto was taken almost 5 years ago, October 2001, in Phuket Island, Thailand. Eyebrows are wrinkled because the sun was too hot! And the 2nd foto was taken last year, June 2005, in Praia du Vao, Algarve region, Portugal.

The foto exhibits above are great living testimonies. Must be some camera trick, huh? Nah, give the praise and glory to push-up bras! YEAH!

But then, this is just the tip of the iceberg. So read more...

Around summertime of last year, MadamE and I went on a shopping spree in Kalverstraat, the biggest and busiest shopping lane in Amsterdam near the Dam square. We were leisurely hopping from one shop to the other when we passed by Blokker, one of the cheap ubiquitous Dutch household chain of stores.

At the entrance was a huge vat filled with discounted fake breasts. A closer look proved the breasts were gel silicone bras in skin tone color. Of course I knew about these way back then in the Philippines, but I never really bothered.

Filipinos to my knowledge are not really fond of big breasts. The celebrated image of the ideal woman in the Philippines is supposed to be effortlessly demure, fragile, simple and chaste plus sprinkled with a dash of the mysterious conservative aura. With that kind of societal basis of beauty, I surely don’t have the ambition to think of supplementing further my already B cup turned C cup in a push-up bra. Having a B size in fact is already considered as being boob blessed *e-hem thank you* in the Philippines. Honestly, let’s admit it, the average Filipina or Asian woman have small breasts.

Living in Europe though is quite a different experience. Day in and day out, I am constantly faced with a barrage of au naturel large breasted Dutch women. In fact when you think of Dutch women, you would think they are synonymous to huge breasts. So as of late, mine have become *sniff sniff* quite insecure. They can’t cope up with what’s considered the average boob size, as per Dutch standards.

“Did you see those skin tone gel bras?” MadamE asked whilst tugging my elbow.

“Yeah, those are silicone gel bras… but how much do they cost?” [Once you have assimilated to the frugal and money conscious Dutch culture, this is always the first thing that comes into your mind]

MadamE’s face was glowing. “Its only € 6.95!” she whispers.

This is the gel silicone strapless and backless bra. The bra just sticks to your breasts and you can freely adjust them to give maximum cleavage and bust lift. A close up look will show you that the gel has started to peel off.

Needless to say, we bought the cheap gel bras. We couldn’t wait to try them on the next day and see the generous payoffs. Good thing, it was still summer, perfect opportunity for us exhibitionists to show off.

I quickly tried them on upon arriving home, then checked myself in the mirror and put on a halter top. I was highly pleased with the end-result so off I went to the living room to surprise the unsuspecting Dutchman.

The man that he is, Dutchman proved to be without any disappointment. His gaze was automatically locked at my newfound frontal assets.

“What in gods name happened to your boobs?!!!” hissed the Dutchman, somewhat shocked with my home boob stunt of a publicity. --“Hey, quit staring at my mammary glands!” He-he.

Meanwhile, in Amsterdam... MadamE was modeling the newly bought gel bosom in front of her husband...

The feedback I received from her was something else though. She narrated to me that her husband couldn’t stop from laughing. He think its very funny. Oh yeah? Hmm well, he is Filipino, so I’m sure he is not used to having large boobies at home ergo his amusement!

These are our augmented breasts!!! LOL! MadamE posing at her home in Amsterdam [can you believe that body has 2 kids?], while me at the Heumarkt square in Cologne, Germany, both taken around early autumn of last year 2005.

Unfortunately, our spanking brand new boob supplement didn’t last that long. The gel bras were cheapskate imitations. After using them several times, the gel started peeling away. Well, what can we expect from a € 6.95 product?

BUT --come summer, when it’s that time of the year to shed off again the layers of thick clothing, I will be buying another one, this time the real McCoy. These original gel bras would probably range between € 50 to € 100.

Lesson learned: Stick to quality.

AND GET THEM ASAP as BOOB INVESTMENT!!!

Here are some TIPS: For better result when using a gel strapless bra, combine it with a normal bra. Best is a push-up bra with very thin pads. This will give maximum support and confidence.

And another thing, I believe these gel bras are safe on water. Therefore, you can use them under bathing suits and bikini tops. Simply brilliant.

So there you go girls. Give some frontal hump power! If you haven’t tried this yet then get them! I am pretty sure your life will never be the same again ;-)